THE SUPERSTITIOUS TRAVELERS GUIDE TO THE SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS
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Plus: Fairy Knoll Etiquette
By: Michael Brink for CMU's Art in Scotland '89, Glasgow Scool of Art
Introduction
Before you Leave
Ban-shees
Bogles
Broonies
Brownies
Changelings
Dracae
Fairies
Fairy Slaves
Fairy Sweethearts
Glastigs
Glasrigs
Kelpies
Mermen and Merwomen
Seers
Silkies
Urisks
Uruisgs
Witches
Wraiths
Fairy Knoll Etiquette
Travel Well
Bibliography
Introduction
It is well known that travelers planning a trip to any foreign land must assess and prepare for the unexpected. However, few prepare for the unbelieved.
Are you superstitious? If this question is not easily answered consider this: anything can be judged to be either real or unreal. If something is judged unreal, it cannot exist. If something does not exist, it can pose no danger. If something is judged to be real, it must exist. If something exists, it must be either dangerous or not. If not, no problem. If something is dangerous, it is prudent to defend against it. If something must be defended against, it is essential that the defender should assess and prepare. As you can see, the degree of superstition or undiagnosed paranoia is directly proportional to the degree of disbelief that is held in the reality or unreality of any thing. Indeed, reality and unreality cannot be defined. They can only be believed or disbelieved.
At this point you should be sufficiently confused so that regardless of your professions of sanity, a review of the "otherworlds" inhabitants, customs, habits, and rituals will be an invaluable asset for your trip to: The Scottish Highlands.
Before you leave.
Several preparations can be made before your departure, which may be indispensable in your dealings with any other-worlders.
First, your religious beliefs should be in order. If you are traveling with an infant, all religious rituals concerning the infant and the mother should be completed. (Baptisms, confessions, circumcisions, etc…)
A small bible and an iron or steel crucifix should be procured. For those non-Christians, substitutions should adhere as closely as possible, in form, to those mentioned here.
Second, a piece of rowan wood (Mountain ash) is a very versatile item that will, in general, ward off evil. It can be kept in your pocket, placed over your bed at night, attached to your means of transportation, or used as a barricade by placing it in a doorway.
Finally, you must familiarize yourself with the basic skills needed in the use of the Scottish dagger known as a "dirk" or "scramasax". Much practice may be needed to develop such techniques such as threshold thrusting, snuff balancing, poking, and "point in" and "point out" throwing.
Ban-shees
A banshee appears as a wailing old woman with stringy hair. She is likely to appear along the exterior of a dwelling where someone is near death. Although they are feared as a death omen, Ban-shees are not dangerous. It is the curse of the Ban-shee to walk the earth as an empath. As well as feeling the pain of someone near death, she may also feel the emotional pain of the ugly or rejected. She has the power to heal at her discretion. Giving comfort to her in her agony is sometimes rewarded by the gift of a strand of her hair. Such a hair wrapped around a musical instrument or another tool can give its possessor great skill. Another reward could come in the form of her absence and the subsequent transformation of an affliction or wound.
Bogles
A Bogle is never seen but is believed to be a spirit with a freakish desire to perplex and trick any human who has shown a desire to help his fellow man. While Bogles are not dangerous, they are likely to delay someone for hours and hours by coaxing and pleading for their help. This "coaxing or pleading" usually takes the form of a voice that appears to come from around the next corner or beyond the next obstruction. The voice will continue indefinitely until the victim is thoroughly frustrated and disgusted with the situation and gives up.
Broonies
Broonies may appear in any form that is unassuming and humble. Appearance as a lonely old tramp with ragged clothes and a look of malnutrition is most often the case. The Broonie is not dangerous. He will test those who cross his path. Not by insult or harm however, he will present an image of proud desperation. He is always looking for work. He always conducts himself in a submissive manner, and is always hungry. He will plead for food or work until you either give it to him or force yourself away from him. Never step over one as this could lead to an overwhelming sense of guilt.
Brownies
Brownies are household spirits who normally take on the appearance of very short normally proportioned humans. They take pride in the loyalty and industry that they show the head of the household. Brownies are idle during the day, but if you leave some work undone at the end of the day you will find it finished in the morning. A small amount of sustenance is taken from the pantry and the Brownie retires to his idleness. Any servants or dependants are constantly under the scrutiny of the brownies that are sometimes invisible. Any improprieties of trust or morality that are observed are reported to the head of the household. Any direct impropriety to a Brownie will set loose his wrath. A servant or dependent walking around with his or her head on backwards would be evidence of this. Brownies are happy to take their own reward in return for their labor and concern for the household morals. When an extra reward is given or a moral decision reversed, you have given the supreme insult to the Brownie who will hex your luck and disappear forever.
Changelings
Changelings are sinister old men, 300 to 800 years of age, that steal infants from their mothers just so they can indulge in their favorite perversion. When the infant is stolen, it is given to a group of nearby fairies who will care for it until it is old enough to become a fairy slave. Once the child is safely away the Changeling assumes the identity of the infant. He cries incessantly until he is nursing at the breast of the mother. He suckles with an insatiable appetite while the mother becomes more and more gaunt.
To remove a Changeling you must drown him or burn him with fire. Obviously, it is essential that you expose and prove the Changeling for what he is before you remove him. Changelings are visible to seers however this is not usually enough proof.
It seems that all Changelings are endowed with an enormous curiosity. If you boil malt and hops in an eggshell or any puzzling process never before seen by the Changeling, he will be amazed and revert back to the form of an old man. At this point he can be seized and tossed onto a fire or into a loch. The Changeling may not be burned or drowned if he is quick and jumps up and runs away shouting insults in his retreat. When the Changeling is successfully removed the fairies will return the infant.
Dracae
Dracae or Waterspirits are generally unseen but sometimes appear as old hags. Dracae can be dangerous to your liberty. The Waterspirits busy themselves by attempting the abductions of humans for the purposes of fairy slavery. These abductions are attempted near the waters of the lochs and rivers. As is the case of most of the other worlds inhabitants, Dracae are creatures of habit. An elaborate abduction ritual always precedes their abductions. Articles of gold or silver are seen floating, or otherwise, resting just at the perimeter of the prospective abductee's reach. If the temptation to reach for and grab the article is resisted no harm will come to the individual. Once grasped, however, the gold or silver will metamorphose into the arms of the hag and the individual is hauled under and put into slavery for seven years. To posses the gold or silver without the fear of abduction simply bless the article before you attempt to remove it form the water.
Fairies
Fairies comprise the largest and most diverse component of the otherworld population. They occupy themselves at all normal human occupations and show themselves in a range of appearances. Fairies may look like any animal or human. They may be of normal size or microscopic. They may be beautiful or grotesque and the manner they display may be frightful or sublime. The "good neighbors" as they prefer to be called are a proud and honest race who deal and interact with the humans that live in the area of the fairy knoll or village. In any dealings with fairies it should be remembered that a fairy is always trying to induce you into slavery. The myriad ways this may be initiated cannot be listed here. However there are a few pointers that can be followed to insulate you form their trickery.
Preserve your integrity at all costs. Any who lie or cheat and are caught in the act can be abducted without adherence to the fairy code of ethics. Fairies are required to use devious means with someone whose integrity they respect.
Sharpen your wit. Riddles and rhymes comprise much of any fairy contract. You will be respected for solving such riddles and rhymes even if, or especially if, you do so by employing devious means such as bribery, extortion, or stealth.
Less desirable but nevertheless effective, physical threat and intimidation by force is always an option that can be used to prevail in a dispute with a fairy. However, such force when taken to extremes can result in revenge.
Fairies can endow bad luck, perform various acts of vandalism, harass relatives, and with the help of their slaves even kill. It must be noted at this point that fairies are not dangerous until threatened or coerced to the limit. If proper care and precautions are used, interaction with fairies can be quite profitable.
Fairy Slaves
Fairy slaves, as you may have surmised by now, are the abducted or induced labor forces of the fairy community. The slaves are usually interred for a period of time of one to seven years at which time they are released with the gift of perfect health. Slaves perform all the domestic duties of the knoll and are respected according to their work performance. The drudgery and monotony of work in the knoll keep most slaves in a depressed state of mind. Fairy slaves will aid anyone who is about to be tricked so long as there is no chance that their treachery will be discovered by any of the fairies.
When a fairy wishes to kill someone, the fairy slave is employed in the task. Most of the time the weapon used is the "fairy arrow". The projectile when hurled by the slave will pass through the victim without leaving a mark. Many fairy slaves are notorious for their poor marksmanship.
Fairy Sweethearts
When a young, usually beautiful, fairy becomes smitten with a human he or she will make it known to them. The fairy sweetheart will distract you from your work to romp and play in the fields. He or she will share good advice and fairy intuition freely and good luck and prosperity will follow the object of his or her affection. The fairy sweetheart is very possessive and jealous. Any mention of another significant competitor will throw the fairy sweetheart into a rage, The dejected fairy is unpredictable and could very well do great damage during the resulting rampage. To avoid this, one should practice " not knowing" and "not hurting".
Glastigs
Glastigs and are maidens who were abducted at birth by fairies or delivered by Changelings. These maidens may appear beautiful, old, or invisible. Glastigs conceal a generally rotten disposition toward men. They will approach a man through seduction or trickery in order to subdue him, slit his throat, and sucks his blood. If her attempt at seduction fails she will try to manipulate her victim into an isolated position where she can make a grab for him. To defend yourself, a vigil must be kept as long as it is night. If she asks or nags for snuff or some other condiment, balance it on the blade of your dirk and offer it to her. If she becomes more aggressive, it may become necessary to begin poking her with your dirk. Glastigs are very fearful of dogs. If you have a dog these very dangerous maidens will not bother you.
Glasrigs
Glasrigs may appear as beautiful maidens or be invisible. The Glasrig spends its time caring for and watching over the animals. She will defend her animals from greedy hunters, neglectful herdsmen, and larcenous servants. A Glasrig has the ability to cripple and disfigure her antagonist. She may also reward someone who shows respect for the animals.
Kelpies
Also known as water wraiths and water horses, Kelpies appear as beautiful mares and are very dangerous. They may be saddled or unsaddled. These horses originate at dusk from under a body of fresh water. Kelpies are sometimes benevolent and will simply graze along side of a local herd. But, more often, they are malevolent. They may stalk humans and call their name. Once someone is in the Kelpies immediate surroundings, they can be mesmerized. The victim is then willed to jump on the Kelpies back. The Kelpie then gallops into the nearby loch or river and the victim drowns. It is possible to avoid the influence of the kelpie by averting your eyes and running away. Furthermore, it is possible to snare and hold captive a water horse. First, disguise yourself as one of the herd. Then, position yourself between the water and the kelpie. When in position, leap out from your disguise and seize her bridle and remove it. Then simply lasso her. She will remain an obedient and spirited animal as long as long as her bridle is hidden from her.
Mermen and Merwomen
Mermen and merwomen are the inhabitants of an undersea gaseous environment. While in their natural form they are unable to leave their environment. The people of Mer are able, by means of a type of spiritual possession, to enter the bodies of marine animals. Sometimes the Merperson will appear as half fish and half human or as the animal it has possessed. The skins can be removed, hidden, and the Merperson can appear as human. Merpeople are only dangerous when greedy fishermen deplete a marine population or if someone destroys their favorite rock perch. Otherwise, Merpeople pose no threat to landlubbers.
Seers
Second sight, the ability to see inhabitants of the otherworld, can be obtained or can be passed genetically. In most cases, it is the unwanted gift of a fairy, urisk, or wraith. The ability to "see" is generally unwanted because seers are able to see the apparitions of someone who is about to die. They can also see their own doppelganger the sight of which can drive them into a state of insanity. Occasionally the "second sight" is desired on a temporary basis so that someone can observe the otherworld activity that is affecting a "strange event".
This can be done easily by stepping on the foot of a seer. Besides those adults known to be seers' horses, dogs, and small children are believed to have "second sight". A specific vision can be seen by peering into the shoulder bone of a sheep or by staring into a fire. Visions, at least of the otherworld, cannot be seen while intoxicated.
Silkies
Silkies are believed to be Merpeople who cannot transform while under the surface of the sea. Usually trapped within a seal body, the Silkie is only able to transform itself while it is on dry land. The nonviolent Silkie spends most of its time on the beaches interacting with tourists. In the evenings they will occasionally shed their coat and visit any local human meeting places (pubs). Very rarely a silky may take a human under the sea to enjoy a sexual frolic. The human will always be returned to dry land by morning.
Urisks
Similar to Bogles in their invisibility and their desire to perplex humans, the Urisks seek not to test but to mock. Their voices are generally heard coming from rock walls or ravines. The mocking takes the form of direct personal insults and degradations. Urisks are maddening, but not dangerous until confronted. Once confronted it is of the utmost urgency that you outwit him before he can rally his friends. If the Urisk is not either tricked or embarrassed before his friends arrive, you may be severely beaten.
Uruisgs
Uruisigs are grotesque monstrous creatures who like to fish and abduct humans by intimidation, riddle, and out and out lying. They seemingly appear to materialize at dusk to only those humans who are having incredibly good luck while angling. Uruisigs can be easily distracted from their abduction attempt by trivial conversation or any immediate menial task. If you can distract a Uruisig until dawn it will be forced to dematerialize leaving you unharmed.
Witches
Witches are considered as either good (white) or evil (black). It is more consistent with the evidence to say that a witch can be both good and evil depending on any particular point of view. Their spells, incantations, and curses are too numerous to mention here. In general, male witches are less powerful than females and the most common curse by far is the curse of the evil eye (a menacing glance from a witch). Several charms and invocations can weaken or remove the curse of the evil eye. You can cross yourself with a piece of rowan wood, or sprinkle yourself with holy water from an iron basin while repeating the lords prayer. The best defense is to reflect the curse of the evil back onto the witch in the first place. This can be done by immediately confronting the witch with a talisman of rowan wood that has a carved eye inlaid with Virgin Mary's nut and charcoal. If witch activity is high, it is best keep your eyes to the ground and ignore everything.
Wraiths
A haunting and its apparition, the wraith, can happen at any time and is generally outside of human control. Interacting with wraiths can affect their behavior, but, without predictability. A wraith can be benevolent or malevolent, happy or angry, beautiful or grotesque, benign or menacing. Since you are usually powerless to affect a haunting, the preferred method of survival is "waiting" followed by "seeing".
Fairy Knoll Etiquette
Any grassy knoll sporting a healthy growth of bright green grass could possibly be the camouflaged roof of a fairy village.
Passers by can sometimes observe an active fairy knoll at night. The sounds of music, dancing, and laughter can be heard while a strange rectangular light shines at the edge of the knoll. An uninvited visitor can enter the glowing doorway if he can thrust his dirk between the door and its jamb before it closes. It is not safe, however, to enter the knoll without taking precautions. If someone else is with you, have him remain completely outside with a rope tied between the two of you. Tell your friend to pull you back out when he is ready to leave. The person inside the fairy knoll will have no conception of the passage of time.
If your intention is to enter the knoll without assistance make sure that you bring your bible, your trusty dirk, and a roosted (an obnoxious alarm clock may be a good substitution here). When you enter the knoll you may find yourself being amazed and seduced by the fairies. The interior of the fairy knoll seems richly decorated with gold and silver trimmings surrounded by lush green felt. The inhabitants will seem to be enjoying a perpetual celebration. The food and drink are plentiful and of the highest quality. You must remember that everything that you see is an illusion. If you are not a seer, the only way to see what is actually there is to rub a small amount of white soap under your right eye. The scene is quite different when you see it clearly. The interior of the knoll is actually damp earth and rock and the inhabitants are rummaging around in various states of decadence. The fairy slaves, now visible, watch you desperately fearing to speak lest their master beat them.
A queen rules the fairies. All of the knoll's inhabitants bow to her. The fairy queen has complete authority in all matters concerning the conduct of her followers both inside the knoll and in their dealings with the human community.
In order to leave a fairy knoll simply wait. The bible will protect you from most of the fairies and your dirk from the rest. At dawn, the rooster will start to crow and the fairies will become annoyed until they have gotten rid of you.
Travel Well
Enjoy your trip to the Scottish Highlands with the assurance that your knowledge and preparations for coping with the inhabitants of the "otherworld" be adequate and satisfactory. New superstitions, folk tales, mores, and taboos are always developing within any culture. They begin on the stock of the old and grow with the new. And it must be said at this point that the procedures, charms, warnings, and rituals herein written are the rich manifestations of the common people of Scotland, well butchered.
Don't forget to leave a portion for the man on the hill.
Bibliography
Bruford, Alan. Highland Fairy Legends Rowman and Littlefield: Totowa, N.J. 1978
Chambers, Robert. Popular Rhymes of Scotland Singing Tree Press: Book Tower, Detroit, MI. 1969
Chapman, Malcolm. The Gaelic Vision in Scottish Culture McGill Queens University Press: Montreal. 1978
Douglas, George Brisbane. Scottish fairy and Folk Tales Arno Press: N.Y. 1977
Ltehbridge, Tomas C. Herdsmen and Hermits Bowes & Bowes Publishers LTD: Cambridge. 1950
Mac Dougal, James. Folktales and Fairy Lore in Gaelic and English Arno Press: N.Y. 1977
Ross, Anne. The Folklore of the Scottish Highlands Rowman & Littlefield: Totowa, N.J. 1976
Webb, Keith. The Growth of Nationalism in Scotland Molendinar Press: Glasgow. 1977
Williamson, Duncan. The Broonies, Silkies, and Fairies Harmon Books: N.Y. 1985